Saturday, 5 September 2009

Ten Reasons Why Being Single Is Not So Bad... Really!

Being single is not such a bad thing actually. Especially if all your friends and siblings are happily hitched to the sides of spouses/lovers and all you have to boast of is your dog. This is not to say that having a dog is a bad thing. Dogs are definitely God's greatest creations after women. But that is beside the point.

The truth is, if you do have a girlfriend, well, good for you. Try holding on to her for as long as you can. But if you don't, you might consider yourself not really too unlucky after all. For, being single is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, its benefits rather outweigh its downsides.

Apart from the limitless freedom that it entails (provided, of course, you're not tied down by the apron strings of your loving mom), there are also other such things as an open market and the life of adventure, if you know what I mean (and don't let your imagination run too far for its own good).

But if you want to get into more specifics, here they are:

1. Freedom of movement. There is nothing a single man enjoys more than this. For, what can beat the pleasure of hopping onto your bike at 11 p.m. and going for a long ride into the dark unknown, to dwell on the joys and sorrows of singleness? (okay, it actually gets better than this).

2. Nobody questions your late hours or your disappearances for long intervals of time. Your disappearances might be either due to some inane programme that you wanted to attend (without the danger of expanding your mind) or again to ride off into the night to mull over the cruelties of life. Or you may choose to party late into the night with a few well-chosen friends and get up late the next day only to be forced to take off from work due to the hangover. This is not necessarily a good thing.

3. Your earnings don't have to be split two-ways. So apart from the tax you give the government, you still get to blow up your pay-check on other trivial pursuits, and no questions asked – except, of course, from the magistrate the next morning if you get yourself locked up. But that will be your own fault.

4. You can spend your private moments at home blasting music and singing at the top of your lungs into a hairbrush, with the shutters down and the dog scurrying for cover under the nearest bed.

5. You don't have to be in bed by midnight every day, only to wake up again when you've just dropped off, at 1 a.m. when the baby brings the roof down. Conversely, if you're unmarried and not living-in, you don't have to stay awake till 2 a.m. on the phone just because your girlfriend at the other end can't get sleep and needs to talk about the exciting happenings of the previous day (for some strange reason, they're always most exciting at 2 a.m.).

6. You don't have to spend endless hours shopping for stuff that'll never make a difference to your life (conversely, if you do indulge her, she might indulge you too later on).

7. You don't have to be constantly reminded about things you forgot to do. When you do remember them, however, it might be too late. But that's another matter.

8. You can stay back late at work and not be blamed for it, even if you were actually working.

9. You can pick your nose or eat stuff off the table, and no one will rap your knuckles .

10. You can be yourself... for as long as you want.

All these things notwithstanding, you still might consider wanting to hitch up some day. Because, of all of God's creations, there's no one quite like the woman.

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